I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
