Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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