I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this will be a night to untag.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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