I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
