Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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