this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
