ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
