woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
