I'm gonna have a badass scar
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
