do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
