I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
