The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
