I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
