Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize