i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
