We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
