he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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