I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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