like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
