I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
