So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
