Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
