my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
