i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
