I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's just like the Real World with babies
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
