The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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