just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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