Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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