More tranny stories later!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just want to make out with him forever
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
