when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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