i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
