we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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