Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
