Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize