Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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