Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
