so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
where am i from again
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Come on in and take your pants off
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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