when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
