So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
