Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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