Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she told me i tasted like america
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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