party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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