How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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