Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't put those talents on a resume
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize