Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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