One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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