hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
