no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
