C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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