Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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