Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
