Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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