Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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