ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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