garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize