Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You are the jesus of drinking
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
