repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
