Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think my tv is drunk
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
