My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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