I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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