i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
operation harelip BJ is a go
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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