Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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