STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
