Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
